IT'S A CANSPIRACY TANK
IT'S A CANSPIRACY TANK
there is absolutely some fuckery going on.
Do we know exactly who is behind it?
No.
Do we know which part is real,
which part is bullshit,
and which part started as bullshit
but somehow became real anyway?
Also no.
But there is enough nonsense in the air
to make suspicion feel less like paranoia
and more like basic pattern recognition.
Perfect for skeptics, tin-foil philosophers,
conspiracy enjoyers, and anyone who stopped trusting
the official story three plot twists ago.
Premium apparel.
No cheap crack-and-peel bullshit.
Just weird humor with 3GCC edge.
• 100% combed and ringspun cotton
• Tri-blends are 50% polyester/25% combed/25% ringspun cotton/rayon
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz/yd² (142.40 g/m²), triblends: 3.8 oz/yd² (90.07 g/m²)
• 30 singles thread weight
• Side-seamed
Open a can and question everything.
Ain't No Gas-Station Iron-On
Direct-to-garment print: bonded into the fabric, not stuck on top. For best longevity — cold wash inside out, hang dry.
About the Fit
Athletic-cut tank with a solid fit through the chest and shoulders and a relaxed waist that doesn’t cling. True to size for a clean gym fit — size up if you want a looser hang.
Size Guide
- True to size for an athletic tank fit.
- Size up if between sizes or you want a looser body/arm opening.
- Standard length for full range of motion.
Care Instructions
Machine wash cold inside out.
Wash with like colors.
Use mild detergent.
Do not bleach.
Do not tumble dry.
Hang dry only.
Do not iron.
Do not dry clean.
Shipping & Fulfillment
Quality takes a minute — most orders are made and shipped in 3–7 business days.
If a blank garment is out of stock, fulfillment may take 2–4 extra weeks.
You’ll receive tracking as soon as your order ships.
Returns & Exchanges
We cannot accept size exchanges — all items are made to order.
If you need a different size, you’ll need to place a new order.
If you reach out, we may be able to offer a discretionary discount code on the replacement. No guarantees — but we’ll always try to treat you fairly.
Sustainability
We use print-on-demand — your item is made only when you order it.
No giant warehouse full of “maybe someone will buy this someday” junk.
That means:
• Less overproduction
• Less wasted inventory
• Less trash
Real talk: It's not perfect — nothing is — but it’s way better than mass-producing mountains of unused shirts just to throw them away.
Bottom line — you get what you want, when you want it, without trashing the planet just to stockpile product nobody asked for.
Good deal.
Our Promise
If something is wrong with your order and we can fix it on our end, we will make it right.
Some situations are out of our control — like ordering the wrong size. In those cases, you’ll need to place a new order.
If you reach out, we may be able to offer a discretionary discount code on the replacement. No guarantees — but we’ll always try to treat you fairly.